{ New Year's Resolution }
I'm not typically the type to set New Years Resolutions. It has never made sense to me to only sit down and take stock of your life expectations and goals once a year. Seriously, do you want to cram 1 year/12 months/365 days worth of goals into one session? That's not only a lot of pressure to put on yourself but is also a little ridiculous and unattainable. But this year, I found, was different. I found myself excited and hopeful for a New Year so that I could shuck off the dead shell of 2013 and refresh myself. Maybe it's because I'm getting old(er), or because I recently graduated college and am now in that weird vortex of life somewhere between still living in the fantasy la-la land of college and shit getting real in the land of paying bills.
I don't really know, but I do know that 2013 was the year of major life changes. I graduated from Uni. I moved back home after 4 years away. I lost some of my closest friendships in 1 devastating blow. I got a job. I (stupidly) left that job for another job. I applied for a study abroad program. I became a runner. And most importantly I lost my mojo. I really really lost my mojo/spark/hootspa/whatever you like to call it.
I was drifting along without any real purpose. And it makes me miss the early college version of myself that would never sleep, worked herself to the bone in order to achieve whatever it was she had set her mind to (at the time it had been proving that one could maintain a 4.0 GPA, party like a rockstar 24/7, and eat any and all free food made available to her without gaining weight) as well as not only have her life goals figured out but fully understand what motivated her and inspired her to machine on. Where did this mythical beast go? And how can I find her?
In some regards I feel like these are natural questions to ask yourself as you get older but I'm only 22 and I have no reason to be looking back and trying to find my lost 'mojo'. I want it back now and 2014 is my year to do so. So in honor of the New Year, this is my resolution; I want to find my inspiration again. What inspires me to be me and what drives me towards my goals and aspirations. I already know what I want to do, I've known that for quite some time. But for a while there, I'd lost touch with why I want to do these things and that is my pet project of the year.
{ Why? }
This resolution ultimately boils down to me searching for the answer to this question. 2013 was the year of figuring out exactly What I wanted out of life so 2014 will be my year of figuring out the Why.
Is anyone else finding themselves in this same type of rut? Feel free to leave a comment (that way we can commiserate together ; )
Tusch
Kalhu J.
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